CAR SALESMAN

So my wife and I decided that it's time for a second vehicle. This is the worst possible thing in the world.
I hate car shopping. Why?

CAR SALESMAN

Could a human being be more obnoxious?

Salesman Jack Ass: Hello sir, how are you today? What can I help you with?

Me: Hi, i'm fine, i'm just browsing.

JA: What ya browsin fer?

Me: Nothing in particular. Just getting some ideas for when I buy a car IN A FEW MONTHS FROM NOW.

JA: Okay great. Well what models interest you?

Me: (slowly getting sucked in) Uhhh probably a Honda Accord.

JA: Great we've got a bunch of those they're great cars. Come over here and look at this pink one.

Me: Oh yeah, that's a nice car. I think I'm looking for a darker color though.

JA: Well if I get you a hell of a deal does the color really matter (true story)

Me: Well i'd like to maybe see what else you have. Do you have any Nissans?

JA: Sure we do. Come on over here. Nissans are great cars. Actually in my opinion they're a bit better than Hondas. How does this Nissan pick up look?

Me: Thanks, but I don't know if I want a truck. Maybe we should look at the Hondas some more.

JA: You betcha. Hondas are great vehicles. My sister owns one with 340,000 miles on it and she's done nothin but oil changes. Here's a cool lookin Ford Focus. What do you think about this car?

Me: It's fine but if you have any more Hondas that would be nice too.

JA: Alright, tell me what monthly payment you can handle?

Me: I'm not sure I'm not really looking to buy a car for A FEW MONTHS

JA: Okay well here's a great Honda. I know you said darker colors but what do you think about this white one? We got this in just today from a stay at home mom who took excellent care of it.

Me: That's good to know. What about this black one over here?

JA: Oh yeah! That's a great vehicle. I'm not sure but I believe we just got that one in today as well from a really good christian family. Let me go get the keys for a test drive.

Me: No sir wait....sir.....

JA: Alright here's the keys. Sorry I took so long my manager was telling me that this car has had lots of offers and he just wanted you to know that he'll let you take it home today if your serious about it. Hop in for a drive.

Me: Okay. I've got to get back to work soon i'm only on a short break.

JA: Sure no problem we can just go around the block and if you like it come inside and we'll crunch the numbers.

Me: (around the block or should I say city) Yeah that was nice thanks for your time today.

JA: You betcha no problem. Come on inside so we can see if we can make this happen.

Me: Thanks but I have to get back to the office.

JA: Okay, hold on for just one second.

Me: No wait...sir.....

JA: Alright.....I just spoke with my manager and he thinks this might be out of your price range but we have a great Dodge that just came in in a dark color.

Me: Well what's the price?

JA: To tell you the truth i'm not sure. Let me go see if he's got any room to work with the price.

Me: fine....

JA: Okay, here's where we're at. He can get you in this vehicle today for only $3500 down and $400 a month and to be honest with you that's a steal. There's a lot of people the past few days that have been liking this specific car.

Me: K, well i've got to run but thanks for your time.

JA: You know what, I think he was thinking about a different car. Let me go see for sure what the price on this vehicle would be. (Intercom) Bob could you come to the office please. Bob to the office..... Oh hey that must be him he's probably contacted a buyer for your car that you drove in and with that trade we could make something happen. If we get the trade where we need it would you be willing to take this car home tonight?

Me: Trade? What....uhhhhh......I'm not sure I want to uhhh......wait what car are we talking about buying.......what's the price on the car.......WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE I'M NOT BUYING A CAR FOR A FEW MONTHS LET ME OUT OF THIS PRISON.........GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!